Raising Your Spirited Childby Mary Sheedy Kurchinka
According to Kurchinka, the spirited child is "...more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children." Or, in other words, Soren.
"Because they are 'more,'" says Kurchinka, "much of the advice that works for parenting other children is ineffective with spirited kids. To ignore your child's tantrums is ridiculous. He can rage for an hour because you opened the door when he was expecting to do it himself. Sent him to his room for a 'time out' and he is liable to tear it apart. There is no distracting him from something that he wants. Even if the stereo is off limits, he'll climb over, under, or around the barriers to return to the shiny dials. Aa a result you can feel crazy, wondering what you are doing wrong and thinking that you are the only parent in the world with a kid who acts this way."
Um, yes.
While reading this book, I was frequently overwhelmed with the desire to throw my head back, laugh maniacally, and scream, "I'M NOT ALONE! I'M NOT ALONE!" Everything she said about spirited children, everything she said about the way parents of spirited children feel-- it all just absolutely resonated. It was such a relief to find this book.
3 comments:
Hey Rachel! Just found your blog thanks to your shameless self-promotion on Facebook and had to tell you that you are a fantastic writer. Reminds me of being in debate with you for some reason, and the speech you gave about music. Good times.
Hip Hip Hooray! (To not-alone-ness!!)
--XO HJ
Yay! I'm glad you're finding comfort in this book.
I loved it. Sariah is very spirited in her own way. While she was never the into-everything, run-away-from-everyone-type, she is oh so intense and perceptive and sensitive and, as for uncomfortable with change, she just said herself a few months ago, "It doesn't matter what our bedtime routine is, Mom, as long as it's the SAME every night." Add to this also "self-aware".
These kids are the ones who MAKE parents. ;)
Also, it DOES get easier as they get older. 5 was when it started clicking, 5 1/2 things were really rolling. Maybe it had something to do with her parents figuring her out then too though. ;)
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