Our Baby of Perpetual Infancy

Liam has decided that he wants to be a little tiny baby forever. At nine months, he still needs to be walked around when he's unhappy; he still breastfeeds almost exclusively (not my idea, I promise you); he has shown no interested in crawling. He cried hysterically when his daddy tried to get him to drink out of a sippy cup last week. And he sprouted a fourth tooth but seems to have sucked it back in. He is our twenty-five pound newborn. Funny kiddo.

Soren Update

In a few weeks, my little boy will be three years old. And that actually seems about right. He's really matured during the past couple of months. He seems happier, more regulated. He's learning about sharing and has begun going to his room to calm down when he gets too upset. His language skills have been expanding at an exponential rate. He has been a true joy to be around (most of the time.)

Some cute things from the past month or so:

Soren is my big kitchen helper. If I'm doing anything in the kitchen, he'll immediately run grab his Lightening McQueen chair and drag it into the kitchen so he can participate. He'll scramble eggs, cut up cheese, knead dough, measure ingredients, stir soup. You name it, he'll do it.

This was our second attempt at making Thanksgiving rolls. The first batch was ruined when I turned my back for a minute and Soren dumped the entire container of yeast into the dough.

Sometimes my Bubba gets a little innovative in the kitchen. For example, when he was helping me make the rolls, he built things out of the dough: walls and snakes and things. When we finished with that, I told him that the dough needed to have a nap while it raised. So we covered it up with a towel and put it on the island shelf. Then he insisted that we build a door out of blocks so that it would be quiet enough for the dough to get some decent rest. (The cheesy grin is for the benefit of the camera. I used to do that exact smile for pictures too.)

Another innovation: we were making cookies the other evening. We pulled the first batch out of the oven and I told Soren we could eat some after they had cooled down. Upon hearing this, he immediately darted out of the kitchen and down the hall. I could hear him rooting around in the bathroom and then he came back with his blow-dryer, proclaiming that he had brought it in to cool down the cookies. One of his nay-saying aunties told him that wouldn't work, but he brushed her off and I let him plug in the blow dryer and "cool down" the cookies.

Soren figured out how to remove the bottom from his blocks container and started wearing it around the house on occasion. He looks perfectly homeless, doesn't he?

I make enough homemade playdough to open up a factory. This was a batch that Soren got wet. He was fascinated with the resulting texture, however, and sat in his high chair playing with it for a large amount of time. Anything for a few minutes of peace, I always say.

Other tidbits:

Soren has an enormous crush on his Auntie Briar. Every evening as a family we'll sing a song and then have family prayer. Briar is not into singing (at least not when anyone can hear), so she usually does not participate in the song portion. Soren, however, will often run up to her and shove a finger in her face, demanding, "You sing it!" So Briar will mouth the words in an exaggerated fashion, much to his eye-sparkling delight.

Soren was playing quietly in the front room and Liam was downstairs squealing loudly. Without looking up from his toys, he said, "That's a beautiful song, Liam."

Soren was playing with a measuring tape and told his dad, "This is so beautiful. I love it."

Soren loves the word "pretty," as in: "That's pretty nice." He'll say things like, "I'm pretty scared," or "I pretty don't want to go to my room."

He also says, "That be good" or "That not be good," when we're discussing plans. (ie..."Soren! We're going to read a story!" "That be good." "Then we'll go to bed!" "That not be good.")

Tonight I heard him use the phrase, "Speaking of which...." a couple of times.

On the way to Grandma's house one morning, Soren mentioned that Nanny Q (Uncle Quentin) lived in Utah. "Yes, he does," I said. "Do you miss him?" "No," said Soren. "Do you miss Uncle Sue?" "No." "Do you miss Uncle Seth and Auntie Karen?" "No." "Do you miss Uncle Scott and Auntie Amanda?" "No." Pause. "I miss Gracie." Gracie is Seth and Karen's cat. "Oh." I said. "Well, Gracie is in Utah too."

Yesterday Soren said to me: "Jesus is pretty far away." "Ummm.....yes, I suppose he is," I replied. "Jesus is in Utah," he added.

"Oh, I love you!" I told him one morning as I buckled him into his carseat, the way I have a million times before. "I love you too," he said, a first.

Today Soren offered to say the dinner blessing. "Dear Heavenly Father," he said. "Please bless Liam that he will get out of the high chair because it is my turn."

Book Review: Deep Storm

Deep Storm
by Lincoln Child

A top-secret undersea government project is rumored to be the recovery of the actual city of Atlantis. When people working on the deep-sea site start encountering unexpected medical problems, however, Dr. Peter Crane is brought on board to help diagnose and treat the problem, and he soon discovers that the scope of the project stretches far beyond Atlantis.

Good plot, good characters--an interesting, enjoyable read.

Hugh Jackman....dainty?

After I mentioned that Abe had a man-crush on Hugh Jackman, my sister-in-law commented that Hugh seemed a bit...dainty....to her.

Does this 6'1" 215 pound man look dainty to you?

25 Things About Abraham: Final Installment

21. Abe has a condition called "congenitally missing permanent teeth," which means that he still has some baby teeth.

22. My husband is a hard-core bibliophile. He loves books-- especially beautiful books: the man drools over the Easton Press catalog as though it were a Playboy. We currently own approximately eight full-sized bookshelves worth of books. Abe is always reading something-- right now, as he lies next to me in bed, it's The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. He's also currently in the middle of Martin Buber's I and Thou.

23. Abraham is a night owl. His peak hours are generally from 9:00 PM - 3:00 AM. I am, of course, on the perfectly opposite end of that spectrum, and shut down just as he's really finally waking up for the day. He takes advantage of this night-owlishness to get in some quality recreational time, which is extra extra important to him. When I have to choose between sleeping and recreating, I choose sleeping; when faced with the same choice, Abe chooses to recreate. So late at night, while his wife and babies sleep, Abraham watches movies, reads the news, and plays computer games.

24. Though he was raised in New Hampshire, Abe was born in Idaho, on the air force base in Mountain Home. He was born at home, delivered by his father, who later reported that Abraham was a very slippery newborn. His mother had read a biography about Abraham Lincoln during her pregnancy, so they named him after the 16th president of the United States. Abe spent the first two weeks of his life wide awake, which nearly drove his mother mad. I imagine that he was too busy contemplating this strange new existential twist to make time for sleeping.

25. Abraham decided at a young age that he would only kiss a girl if he was sure he loved her. This means that he didn't kiss me until we had been dating for several months, which nearly drove me mad. But the wait was worth it: our first kiss was dizzying.

So there. Now Abraham has made a significant appearance on my blog. He is an adorable and a delightful person, don't you think?

Crazy Google Searches That Have Led To My Blog

From my Analytics account:

"Deviated septum causing honking sound sleep."

"Toddler poop interrupts naptime."

"Daddy's nude pictures." (This one is a weeee bit disturbing.)

Reviewed: Some Homeschooling Books

Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense
by David Guterson

This is probably the most persuasive book I've read about homeschooling. The title threw me a bit-- images of the afore-mentioned buck-toothed fundamentalists began dancing in my head--but it came highly recommended by my brother Scott, so I gave it a go.

In Family Matters, Guterson-- a high school teacher who homeschools his four children-- addresses everything from the ubiquitous "but what about socialization?" to the question of whether a public education is an essential component of life in a democracy. He argues that homeschooling-- done properly-- is a better choice educationally, emotionally, and socially for children.

Guterson's basic premise is that parents-- who know their children's learning style, interests, personalities, and needs better than anyone else-- should be at the center of their child's education, and he cites a substantial amount of data to show that this is a superior approach. He also includes personal descriptions of the life his sons are experiencing as they grow up outside of the public education system.

The book also contains a fascinating history of the American public shools.

Guterson's approach to homeschooling is well thought-out and practical. I appreciate that he is neither absolutely rigid about a home curriculum nor completely given over to the concept of allowing kids to just learn whenever and whatever they please.

So anyway. I give this book two thumbs up. If you are at all considering educating your kids at home (or are homeschooling your kids but would like to build your defense arsenal), this is a book I recommend you read.

The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education
by Grace Llellewyn

I found The Teenage Liberation Handbook to be less persuasive in terms of why I should homeschool my children (it was very idealistic and flitty, fraught with the idea that children should never be made to do things they don't want to do) but surprisingly, personally inspirational. I read this book and wanted to develop my own educational curriculum, apprentice myself to a potter, start a political discussion group, and exchange poetry with my friends. I loaned it to my thirteen-year-old niece, Arielle, who is just the sort of person who would actually do these sorts of things.

A Sense of Self: Listening toHomeschooled Adolescent Girls
by Susannah Sheffer

Susannah Sheffer was on the staff of Growing Without Schooling magazine back in its heyday. This book grew from a series of interviews-- some in person, some written--she did with several homeschooled girls who responded to a notice she published in the magazine. The general conclusion of the book was that homeschooled girls (vs public-schooled) have a tendency to be more confident in themselves and their opinions, attitudes, feelings, beliefs, plans, and interests. This is probably true, but it's really difficult to draw any really definite conclusions from the book because of the sampling of adolescent girls from which Sheffer drew (girls who (1) were from families that cared enough to subscribe to a magazine about homeschooling (2) cared enough about homeschooling to read the magazine and see the notice, (3) were interested enough in expressing their opinions about homeschooling that they would contact Sheffer (4) were gregarious enough to initiate contact and participate in the interviews.

As I was reading A Sense of Self, I remember thinking, "Wow! This is rocking my world! This is changing everything! Yeah! I've got to homeschool my kids!" But now I can hardly remember what it was that I found so wildly persuasive. I blame this phenomenon on my brain, which has been slowly and completely fried by motherhood. So, yeah, read it. It will probably change your life. Hopefully for longer than it changed mine.

5 More Things About Abraham

16. Abraham doesn't have a dream career. He's never had something he just absolutely had to be. Nevertheless....a man has to work for a living, and he has found a good match for his personality in librarianship, so he's currently working on a master's degree in the field.

17. Abe loves to shop. Loves it. He loves it way more than I will ever love it. He shops online, he shops in stores, he peruses ads for great deals. A typical date night for us is a huge platter of nachos at Garcia's and a trip to the mall.

18. Abe worked on a Christmas Tree farm for seven years. A Christmas Tree Farm is not the magical holiday wonderland it sounds like. With less-than-savory co-workers, Abe planted, clipped, sheared, weeded, shaped, cut, and baled conifers for a mean, old, tight-fisted New-Englander who paid him $3.75/hour.

19. Abraham was once hit by a car. By his father, who was apparently backing up at an extraordinary clip without looking to see where he was going. The back bumper hit 18-year-old Abe in both shins, throwing him back about ten feet. Abe, who drank an extraordinary amount of milk growing up, didn't even suffer a fracture. He just got up, slid into the passenger's seat, and said, "Da-ad, you just hit me." His Dad's reply: "Oh, was that you?"

20. Abe's family has its own time zone. When Abe was on his mission, his mother wrote to say: "I've decided I am no longer going to participate in Daylight Saving's Time." And they have done so ever since. Visiting is very confusing, because I find myself constantly calculating. "So it's 10:00 AM Skousen Time, which means that it's 11:00 AM in the rest of New Hampshire, which means that it's 9:00 AM in Idaho, so I guess now would be a good time to call home..."

21. Abraham once rode a greyhound bus from Utah to New Hampshire. He describes this time as being his three days in the belly of the whale. He spent a good portion of this time with his nose buried in the window air-conditioner, drawing pictures with his face grease on the window, trying desperately not to breathe in the odor of the man sitting next to him, whom Abe suspects had maybe never showered ever.

Let's hear it for the Oxford Comma!

I am a big fan of the Oxford Comma (alias the Harvard Comma or Serial Comma).

What's that, you say? You don't know what the Oxford Comma even is? That is okay. I recognize that we can't all be grammar freaks, so I will tell you that the Oxford comma is the comma that is inserted before a conjunction in a list containing three or more items.

For example: I went to the park with my kids, Briar, and Hillary.

See that little comma there after the "Briar"? That comma is important. Do you see what would happen if we removed the comma from this sentence? It would become this:

I went to the park with my kids, Briar and Hillary. And -- poof! -- like that, I've suddenly gone from walking to the park with my two little boys and their two live-in aunts to walking to the park with my two grown female children. How did I get so old so fast?

Or how about this example:

I like the following kinds of pizza: Pepperoni and Cheese, Green Pepper and Olive, Anchovie and Onion, and Canadian Bacon and Pineapple.

This sentence is perfectly clear, but what happens when I remove the final comma? This happens:

I like the following kinds of pizza: Pepperoni and Cheese, Green Pepper and Olive, Anchovie and Onion and Canadian Bacon and Pineapple.

So do I like three kinds of pizza (Pepperoni/Cheese, Green Pepper/Olive, and Anchovie/Onion/Canadian Bacon/Pineapple) or do I like four kinds of pizza (Pepperoni/Cheese, Green Pepper/Olive, Anchovie/Onion, and Canadian Bacon/Pineapple)? Without the Oxford comma firmly holding down the boundaries between pizza toppings, the answer to this question is anyone's guess. And that is a travesty.

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I will admit that the oxford comma is not always a necessary component of a clearly understood sentence. The following sentence, for example, is simple enough to understand:

I like to eat, drink and be merry.

However, the Oxford comma creates a more accurate visual representaiton of the way lists sound when spoken aloud: One generally says "I like to eat (pause), drink (pause), and be merry," not "I like to eat (pause), drink and be merry." That would sound foolish.

---
Hence, the Oxford comma should always be used. It's simple and straightforward, eliminates ambiguity, and creates a more aesthetic sentence structure. Why wouldn't everyone consistently use the Oxford comma?

The unfortunate thing is that, sadly, not everyone sees it that way. People omit the Oxford Comma all the time. In fact, the entire Associated Press has completely turned its back on the Oxford Comma. This is just plain wrong and it needs to be changed, so now that I've explained to you why this is so important, and you are fired up about the essential nature of this very special comma, I'm going to encourage you to write to your local newspaper and beg them to bring back the Oxford comma. One periodical at a time, we can bring clarity and reason back into the press.

Soren's First Prayer

So Soren actually volunteered to say the prayer over dinner last night.

We were standing in a little semi-circle in the kitchen-- Abe, Briar, Soren, Liam and I-- and Soren kept on saying, "Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ." Abraham thought he was just being profane, but I understood that he wanted to say the prayer, so we gave him the floor.

And this is how it went:

"Dear Heavenwee Father, Thankooforthisday"...at this, Soren wandered off into the front room with his little head still bowed and started playing with his train, mumbling more prayer talk all the while. We encouraged him to come back into the kitchen, and when he arrived he finally said his little bit about Jesus Christ and then, after some encouragement, yelled out "Amen."

So there you go. Maybe he's not a little heathen after all.

Why I should never Tweet.

So I recently rekindled my on-again, off-again relationship with Facebook, and let me tell you: the sparks are flying. But here's the problem-- you know the status bar thing? The little slot where you fill in the blank after your name to describe what you're thinking about or doing? I've developed a mild obsession with it. I love coming up with things to enter into my status bar. In fact, it's gotten to the point where my whole life has been reduced to little third-person snippets that I develop in my brain throughout the day and rate according to wittiness and likeliness to elicit a response. These are the sorts of things that I churn around in my mind:

Rachel is going to say it: I like a capella music and I'm not ashamed!

Rachel got ready this morning single-handedly, as her baby, who weighs the same as a big sack of flour, was not feeling well and required holding at all times.

Rachel wants to take the world in a love embrace!

Rachel hates everyone who has ever lived. Ever.

Rachel thinks that Abraham is perhaps the most hilarious human being alive.

Rachel and Soren just made a fort behind the chair and cooked some pretend pizza and a batch of invisible cupcakes, which we shared with a rather ravenous stuffed bee.

Rachel is so grateful for her little sunbeam baby. He's such a little bright light!

Rachel wishes that Abraham would take up swearing. It can be such a charming habit--and he would be so good at it.

Rachel loves Friday night pizza night!

Rachel thinks that eggnog is the nectar of the gods.

Rachel is excited that it's the weekend because now she gets to do laundry and take care of her sick children! Oh, wait....

Rachel wants everyone to pay attention to her. Right now!

So anyway, while entertaining and mildly delightful, I kind of feel that there's something unhealthy about this habit, like I'm so focused on verbalizing my life experiences in a snappy way that I forget about letting go and just living life. And Twitter? Twitter is like a Facebook status on steroids. I can totally see myself spending the entire day describing my life in 140 characters or less and popping out witty responses to everyone else's 140 character snippets. With my habit of doing everything with a sort of feverish vim, Twitter would quickly descend into an obsession. And, you know, I've got a life to live. So it is because of this that...

Rachel should really probably not sign up for Twitter.

Soren: 34 Months

Dear Soren,

It's been another exciting couple of months with you. When your daddy and I got married, my parents kept telling him, "Life will never be boring for you ever again." I didn't realize that this prophecy would extend to me in the form of offspring!

I wish I could write something really long and prosy, but I don't have time this month, so I'm just going to make a couple of quick lists and be done with it:

-Kisses. You give the most adorable little kisses. Your cousins-- especially Calysta--always ask you for kisses on first one cheek, then the next. And you (usually) hand them out willingly. Sometimes when you kiss me good-bye in the morning, you kiss my lips, then my cheeks, then my chin, then my eyelids. So sweet.

-Grandma and Grandpa. You spend some time at Grandma and Grandpa's almost every single day of the week. Grandpa has taken you fishing a couple of times-- you LOVE this-- and also spent some time helping you practice your fishing skills at home by reeling in a toy four-wheeler. Grandma sat down with you on her lap and played the piano while she and grandpa sang you primary songs. You enjoyed this very much and put your hands on hers while she played.

-Speaking of pianos....your new punishment for being naughty in sacrament meeting is that you are taken out and planted on top of the piano until you beg to be taken back into the chapel. I hope that this doesn't turn you into a hater of both pianos and God.

-You like to sleep with a blanket on your head. I did this as a little kid, too. It made me feel safe; I think your motivation is similar.

-You continue to struggle with the whole poop-smearing thing I've addressed elsewhere on this blog. I noticed recently that your father had taken pictures of some of this poop smearing. I suspect he's saving them to show to me should I ever suggest having another baby.

-One night after family prayers you mentioned that you wanted to "Do Beenet." After a ridiculous amount of scrambling and charades on the part of Hillary, Daddy, and I, followed by you directing all the adults to sit on a blanket and point in a random direction, we finally figured out that you wanted us to "Be Obedient." Must have been a nursery lesson you'd had recently.

-Other than that, though, you seem to be quite Godless. You dislike church and refuse to participate in prayers at home. You must have gotten that from your father. ;)

The following are your cute words/phrases of note from the past month or so:

"Mommy be safe for me?" (Will you keep me safe, Mommy?)
"Peapock" (Peacock)
"Smilk" (Smoke)
"Geared" (Scared-- and you are OFTEN "geared." It's your new favorite emotion.)
"Hauntie" (Auntie)
"Hairpane" (Airplane)

You are my sweet little boy and I adore you.

Love, Mommy

You felt that you needed to participate at a recent Mary Kay party I threw at our house. I don't think you're ready for your own make-up consulting practice yet.

You actually asked to have your mouth taped shut. We certainly weren't going to argue.

I put you down for a nap in a tidy bedroom wearing normal clothes. When I came in to wake you up, your room was trashed and you were attired in size 0-3 month pants without a diaper and a pumpkin shirt. Must have been evil elves.

You must have heard that in a past life, before I had children, I made hats out of yarn. You asked for one and this is what you got.

Sometimes you like to wear Mommy's clothes.

You still sometimes like to be wrapped up like a burrito.

Abraham, items 11-15.

11. The man doesn't like potatoes. In fact, he hates them. This is something I thought I could change after we got married. I thought he just hadn't had them prepared properly. That perhaps he'd been raised on Maine potatoes and didn't know what a real Idaho spud could do for someone. I was wrong. Had I known how deeply rooted (ha!) was Abe's distaste for my home state's pride and joy, I may have reconsidered that whole time-and-all-eternity commitment thing.

12. Abe loves spiders. We do not kill spiders in our home. Generally what happens is that Abe will see an arachnid and say something like, "Oh, how cute! It's scurrying across the ceiling! Can you imagine what it would be like to hang upside down like that?" And we'll let it keep on keeping on. If it appears as though the spider may interfere with family life in some way, we'll very gently scoop it into a wad of toilet paper and free it into the wild.

13. Abe just came and peeked over my shoulder and read item #12. His comment: "But I love snakes more." And that is true. He is a sucker for snakes. I thought this was creepy at first, but I've come to see that snakes do have their charms.

13. Because of his work with juvenile delinquents at an inpatient drug-and-alcohol facility, I will occasionally have cute little teenage boys come up to me and say, "Are you Mr. Skousen's wife? Your husband's the best. Tell him 'hi' for me." On a date at Barnes and Noble recently, we spent quite a bit of time chatting with one of his former clients, a kid whom you could tell had a lot of love/respect for Mr. Skousen. That makes me happy.

14. Abe got such a bad sunburn on our honeymoon that we had to take an emergency mid-night trip to the emergency room in The Middle of Nowhere, Oregon. They prescribed him pain and anti-itch medications that knocked him into a haze of idiocy for the final two days of our first vacation together.

15. Abraham is one of the most well-read people I know. He (who earned his degree in Philosophy) has read way more classics than I (who earned my degree in English.) Despite this, the man has a taste for some really crappy literature--the Tarzan books, for example.

5 More Things About Abraham

....continued from here.....

6. Abe's best friends come from the over-fifty crowd. He's like an old man himself--which is good, because I like old men--but much more virile--which is even better, because I really like virile men.

7. Abe isn't ashamed that he has a huge man crush on Hugh Jackman. He openly admits that he went to see Wolverine just for Hugh. And yet he is oh-so-very straight.

8. Abraham is not a big fan of the sharing of food. A word to the wise: don't just go taking food from Abe's plate without asking. You might end up with a fork in the back of your hand.

9. We suspect that Abe has a deviated septum, as it seems he is perpetually stuffed up. I can always tell Abe's awake in the morning because of the loud goose-like honking sound he emits while clearing out his nose first thing.

10. Abe cares deeply about politics and actually goes to the effort to write letters to his representatives about issues that matter to him.