Abraham, Rachel, Soren and Liam. Our life together in Smalltown, Idaho.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Something that MUST go.

Blog soundtracks.

I'm sorry. I know many of you out there have a blog soundtrack. And I still love you. I promise.

But let me tell you people, when it's 9:30 PM and my nerves have been burned down to little black nubs and I'm settling down into the calm quiet of a house in which the children have been put to bed, I go to your blog. I pull up the page and am just settling into a peaceful read about your little Ian and his clever little antics when---out of nowhere and usually at high volumes-The Proclaimers bust out with "500 Miles" or Edwin McCain starts singing "I Could Not Ask For More."

It scares the LIVING BEJEEBIES out of me. Each one of my little nerve nubblies sits up like the woken dead, grabs both sides of its tiny head, and screams. This tells my hand to scroll down to the bottom of the blog and mute the damnable noise, which it does, thankfully, but for me, it's too late. My nervous system is now totally shot. I spent the rest of the evening throwing sharp glances over my shoulders. I find my can of pepper spray, lock all the doors, and fall asleep lying flat on my back so I can see if there's anything coming into the bedroom to get me.

It's all very nice that you want to add to the ambiance of your blog by sharing your favorite songs, ya'll, but it's just not working out. There is no ambiance, there is only blind panic. No one is listening to your music; they are only rushing to make the uninvited noise stop. Maybe if you put some sort of really visible warning on the blog somewhere it would be okay. Like, perhaps you could change your blog's name to "WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY BEGIN MAKING LOUD NOISES AT ANY MOMENT." Or maybe you could make the music optional, like something your readers could click on in case they wanted to hear the songs you'd been loving lately.

Just a thought. Now if you'll excuse me, It's time for bed. I've got to go lock all my doors and see if I can find my pepper spray.

5 comments:

Becca said...

I agree so completely! Oh my gosh I get so mad when blog music starts since it doesn't start with the page it's always a moment later when you have settles into a fake sense of security that it is not there.

breckster said...

Agreed! But for me I listen to my own music while I'm reading blogs, so then there are conflicting tracks playing... and I'm not as nice as you, instead of scrolling down I click the little read button, and think I will go back to read it another time. I'd suggest putting a "suggested play list" in the side bar, and if I trust you I'll play a song from it while I read your blog.

Nathan said...

I agree with you! although I think companies creating blog templates, and the people utilizing these templates should have the right to ruin their blogs as they desire. If I were creating a blog program for people, it would have a "push to play" feature for any music in honor of you.

Collette Smith said...

Favorite LOL line: "...my nerves have been burned down to little black nubs..."

Lara said...

Amen! I don't fall victim to the blind panic, but I often will check out several blogs at once and if they all have soundtracks...the cacophony is simply maddening. I keep my computer on "mute" at all times for this exact reason.

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