Abraham, Rachel, Soren and Liam. Our life together in Smalltown, Idaho.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Mr. Jones Workout

Mr. Jones is a retired Army Sergeant. He loves music, he loves food, he talks tough, and he has a heart of gold. He speaks with a slight southern accent, wears a full gray beard, owns Sarah Palin's autobiography, and has a thousand stories to tell about his adventures in the military. Abe and I met him at Harbor House, where he was merrily passing his work hours subjecting the residents (teens who were there for inpatient drug and alcohol rehabilitation) to various wholesome tortures (mostly things that would make the politically correct sector bite their nails, and so which I will keep to myself), but among the tamer of these ordeals were his infamous military-style workouts. Last winter, about this time, I was starting to feel a little out of shape. I emailed Mr. Jones to get the scoop on his workout. "Abe says the girls could do 50 push-ups," I wrote. "Could you tell me what you did to make that happen?"

His response:

"Yes the girls could do 50 push-ups & run 2 miles. You will need to get some moderate & fast paced rock music. About 45 minutes worth. I'll fix you up a disc with the tunes we used.

1. 5 minutes to stretch out & limber up.
2. Start with Ozzy Ozborns' Crazy Train & do 50 4 count jumping jacks.
3. Without stopping; run in place for 2 minutes. When 2 minutes is up; drop & do 5 male push-ups.
4. Return to running in place for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes; 5 male push-ups.
5. Roll over & do 25 sit-ups; military type. Knees bent, hands locked behind head.
6. Run in place for 2 minutes. Immediately do 25 deep knee bends..
7. Do 1 more deep knee bend; go to male push-up position & do 5 push-ups.
8. Return to Running for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes do 25 regular count jumping jacks.
9. Now do 25 sit-ups. Remember, there is no breaks during the entire workout.
10.Laying flat do 4 count leg lifts; 25 repetitions.
11.Return to running in place for 2 minutes. Pace all of the running & other exercises with the beat of the music.
12. Quickly get down & do 5 male push-ups.Return to running in place. Every 30 seconds start slowing down your pace. Keep moving around.
I would end the session with 5 Ranger Push Ups. This is a 4 count, over time exercise. The kids hated this exercise with a passion.
Do this for 5 days in a row. No exercise for 2 days."

He did make me a workout CD, which he brought when he and his lovely wife, Bonnie, came over to our place for dinner one evening. I did it for a few months and then, as I always do with exercise, got bored and found something else to do. I've started thinking about it again lately, though, because I've once again reached that part of winter where I'm really needing an extra endorphin boost.

I started it again tonight and plan to keep using it until the roads are safe for running on again. I like this workout because it usually only takes about thirty minutes from start to finish but leaves me feeling like I've exercised. I'm too wussy to do 5 days in a row, but I do plan to shoot for three days a week.


Lara said...

That sounds absolutely miserable. I even had a bit of a panic attack just reading about it.

heidi said...
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Karen said...

Heidi, have you been drinking again? :D

Rach, that workout sounds awesome! But it also sounds like it would totally kick my butt. I suck at pushups. I'm almost positive I can't do 5.

I'm going to try doing this for reals. What other songs were in the mix? It wasn't just Crazy Train for 30 minutes, right? Or WAS IT?! AHHHH!

Collette Smith said...

I would like the politically correct sector to know that, although we aren't flaming liberals by any account, this month does mark the first anniversary of our family's recycling resolution--which we have kept, thereby reducing our trash output by more than half.

heidi said...
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heidi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
heidi said...
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heidi said...

Hi everybody, so I just deleted all my comments 'cuz I can't figure out if I'm coming across the way I mean to or not. I MEANT to say, I'm worry-convinced I may be offending everybody without meaning to--just my cultural background being non-Mormon. Then Kay asked if I'd been drinking and it dawned on me that maybe my comment didn't draw on the brilliantly coherent and tightly focused writing style I typically draw on. ;P

I did mention in the first comment a worry that I myself AM Rach's politically correct sector and that perhaps I am coming across as foreign and fascist to her demographic in my hatred of Walmart and love of recycling.

So, thank you, Collette, for, I think, trying to reassure me that I'm not weird, offensive and unsamesies with everybody, that people in Rach's blog aren't all that different from me, and that this group of Others also do things like Recycle... in heroic proportions, nonetheless!

Overall, I"m feeling awkward about saying I feel awkward.

But that's rather funny, too--like the other day when I worried that my daddy worries too much. Snake biting its own tail.

Um. The End?


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