On our walk this evening, Abraham casually stated that he thought that all guys could pretty much fit into one of three categories: Nerd Man, Jock Man, and Hunting/Fishing Man. I, of course, immediately began to test his theory, thinking of various men I knew and seeing if they could be categorized as one of those three types. After some discussion, we came up with a few more categories and decided that most men would probably identify with one of the following profiles:
Plays basketball at the church on Saturday mornings with his friends. Is perfectly happy to watch sports on television--any sport, any team--for as long as his wife will let him. Jock/Sports Man often volunteers to coach his kids' little league teams.
Huntin' and Fishin' Man
In the winter, he's ice fishing and duck hunting. In the summer, he's fly fishing and shooting at rock chucks. You won't see him at all in the fall. If he's not actually out hunting or fishing, Huntin' and Fishin' Man loves to read maps, explore possible hunting and fishing destinations, practice his new moose call, and shop at Sportsman's Warehouse. His dream vacation destination is Alaska. He peruses the Cabela's catalog while sitting on the toilet. His deep-freeze is stuffed with venison and elk.
Loves anything with a motor in it: motorcycles, trucks, boats, four-wheelers, lawn mowers-- but he particularly loves cars. Car Man spends hours perusing Craig's List and the Thrifty Nickel in search of fantastic deals on cars and/or car parts. On weekends, you'll usually find him in the garage, doing something he refers to as "tinkering." He attends the classic car show every year, year after year.
Reads mostly Science Fiction and Fantasy. Likes electronics. Watches The Discovery Channel. Plays computer games. Is familiar with String Theory and Quantum Physics. I'm married to a Nerd Man, so it's hard for me to make sweeping generalizations here.
Really enjoys music and art. Dreams of owning his own pottery wheel. Likes to take pictures. Owns a set of oil paints and keeps a couple of blank canvases on hand, just in case. Attends live plays and symphonies. Buys his produce at the Farmer's Market; buys his furniture at the Flea Market. Cares about the environment. Enjoys poetry and literature. Artistic Man is often, but not always, gay.
Is completely wrapped up in his career. He spends as much time as possible working, putting in long hours at the office, carrying his laptop wherever he goes, and answering all work-related calls in the evenings and on weekends. If he can't be working at his actual job, Workin' Man likes to mow the lawn, powerwash the truck, and make home repairs.
Spends his spare time engaging in criminal, or at least questionable, activities, such as hanging out in bars, fighting, doing drugs, acquiring new tattoos, injuring loved ones, engaging in illicit sexual activities, etc. Criminal Man spends his weekends in jail.
Some men will exhibit characteristics from multiple types, and some won't fit at all. For example, Abe has a friend who likes watching old re-runs of MASH, fixing canoes, restoring old lawn-mowers, skiing cross-country, and studying history. He doesn't really seem to have a category. And I had a boss who really liked learning about new things, traveling to new places, and sleeping around. I'm not really sure where to put him either.
But I thought these were funny and largely accurate and so I thought I'd share and see what you all thought: do these categories work?
What type of man are you/are you married to/are the men that you know?