Abraham, Rachel, Soren and Liam. Our life together in Smalltown, Idaho.

Friday, July 18, 2008

An Announcement. A Complaint. And a Cry for Help.

The Announcement:

We're expecting a baby in February. Hooray!

The Complaint:

I feel like hell. This morning sickness is unrelenting. I don't throw up, so I feel like I shouldn't complain, but being nauseated all night and all day without a reprieve is starting to wear on me. And it's not just the nausea. It's the exhaustion. And also the fact that the exhaustion and the nausea combine to make the world feel black, black, black. Almost every day finds me at my mom's or my sister's begging for company and assistance. I just can't stand to be alone all day with my very active little boy while I feel so terrible.

The Cry For Help:

I feel like I can't endure a single day more, let alone 3-5 more weeks (which doesn't sound like much, I know-- but that's a lot of very very long days of feeling black and sick and unhappy.) I tried mentioning it to my OB, who is a very lovely woman, at my first prenatal visit, but our conversation went something like this:

OB: So, you're pregnant! That's wonderful! Fantastic! So exciting!
Me: Yeah, thanks.
OB (big, bright smile): So how have you been?
Me: OK. I've had some morning sickness.
OB: Oh? Have you been throwing up a lot?
Me: Well, no....
OB: Why, that's wonderful! Fantastic! So exciting!
Me: Um, I guess so. I do try to tell myself that I'm lucky to not be throwing up.
OB: You're such a cutie! Well, come on. Let's go do an ultrasound. I bet you have a beautiful baby.

And she was off to the ultrasound room. And I, not very good at being pushy with people I'm not close to, obediently followed her out.

What would have been nice at this point in our conversation, however, was some questioning about the intensity of my nausea and perhaps some suggestions for how to alleviate it. But the truth is, I've read it all: eat saltines before you get out of bed in the morning, eat small meals throughout the day, try vitamin B6, try Unisom combined with vitamin B6, drink ginger tea, take ginger supplements, cut the iron out of your prenatal vitamin. And the saltines just make me feel worse, the small meals don't really make a difference (sometimes they make it worse), the vitamin B6/Unisom combo didn't work with Soren, ginger tea makes me gag, my prenatal vitamin doesn't impact my nausea, and I'm just a little uncertain about the ginger supplements.

But seriously. I know this is so lame of me, and that I'm probably the world's biggest wimp, but I'm really thinking if I have to go through this AGAIN for another child, I might just be done with two. I would LIKE more children, but this is just such a living nightmare for me that I can't stand the thought of doing it again.

And this is where I beg for suggestions for dealing with morning sickness, words of encouragement or hope, anything, really. Just throw a sick dog a bone, huh?


Jennifer said...

CONGRATUALATIONS!!!! I am very happy for you, but I do understnad your predicament and I will probably be back into it soon enough. Morning sickness....hm......they do make medications for it. It's pretty pricey, but you can check to see how much of your insurance will cover it ($27 a pill for the namebrand stuff) I'm not sure if there is a knock off. I'll have to check with Edwin.

I eat mostly noodles, rice and vegetarian pastas or stir-fry. The smell of cooking meat is sure to send me to the bathroom a few times to releave myself (and that doesn't include while I'm eating it or after)!!! Tired?!? Well, that's the understatement of the century!!! With baby #2 I strapped Grace in high chair turned on the TV and slept until she couldn't sit and eat snacks any longer! I'm glad you have family to visit (I don't know how I'm going to make it through #3...thanks for helping me decide to wait a bit longer). Good luck! I'd say take a bath, but that just adds to the nausea!

This baby is going to be worth it...just look at Soren!

I'm super excited for you. I will be in town Aug 7-10 I'd love to come visit!

Rachel said...

Jenn, thanks so much for your response. Just what I needed. And please, come visit. I'm hoping to be feeling better around that time as well.

karla said...


As for the ginger supplements, Jeff's mom gave us some a while back. Jeff takes them every time he flies and they seem to help. It might be worth a shot.

Jason and Melanie Morales Family said...

Congratulations! That is very exciting, but even knowing doesn't make it any easier to get through these days. I don't have any advice- my sister lived on Unisom during her last pregnancy, and I'll have to ask her if she had any other helps.

You guys are a beautiful family! Congrats again!

Steve & Margaret said...

Yea, you're preggers, too! This one was my first time with the whole nausea thing, and it was awful. The best thing I found was either brushing my teeth or chewing Trident immediately after eating,or whenever I felt bad. The less flavor in my mouth, the less nauseated I felt. I also did literally nothing until I felt better. I laid on the couch and watched Adam amuse himself.

Karen said...

Ok, so since I've never been pregnant myself I don't know how much this will help... but a friend of mine had morning sickness severly for most of her pregnancy and she tried everything. One thing I remember her mentioning was these Prego Pops. They were the only thing that she said helped a little. They're just these suckers that are supposed to help with the nausea. I think they have them at Babies R Us... not sure where else. Maybe at Walgreens or somewhere like that.

Lara said...

Rachel! I love you for being sick and depressed! It makes me feel like I was more normal during my pregnancies. With Chase when I first started feeling nauseated I was afraid of throwing up so I didn't eat hardly anything for days, which of course just made it worse. After I discovered food made me feel better I ate all the time, and that seemed to fix it for me.

When I was pregnant with Maya all I remember about morning sickness is being REALLY REALLY tired ALL the time and HATING feeding Chase his oatmeal in the morning. It made the grossest sounds. I also slept a lot on the couch while he basked in toys on the floor. And of course I ate a lot. I was always starving. I'd pig out then be famished half an hour later. I felt like I had Prader Willey's syndrome.

Hang in there and think about how cute your belly will look in a few months!

Mark said...

All I can say is Congrats on the baby and to try those preggy pops that they sell at motherhood maternity. Callie says they have helped her. Though it sounds like you have tried everything.

karla said...

Let me clarify - ginger supplements help Jeff with nausea/motion sickness, not morning sickness. But they're similar, right? :)

Rachel said...

Karla -- Phew! I was worried that Jeff had become the world's first pregnant man! Just kidding. I knew what you meant. And yes, they are similar.

Lindy said...

Oh my dear Rachel! I have no wisdom for you, but I do have empathy. I'm only sick/tired/feeling "black" (an apt description) by myself, but I have been thinking quite a bit about all you already-Moms who go through this AND take care of someone besides yourself at the same time. Not to mention someone very small, dependent and energetic. You're AMAZING. And very brave to post about it. I have avoided talking publicly too much about pregnancy yet because even though we'd been trying/waiting/hoping/praying for a baby, I have felt very little of the happiness I expected I would upon actually getting pregnant. Actually, I did for the first six weeks before sickness set in, but it's been a little too easy to forget! I wish I could make it all go away for you, or come to Idaho and lend you a hand. But for now just know I'm praying that the sickness will go away soon. And, I'm really happy there will be at least one more Skousen in the world.

Ginger said...

Hi Rachel,

Yes, I still read your blog even though I never comment. Sorry. I love how we are on the same baby track. Soren and Dan in Dec '06 and now two new ones in February. Should we have girls this time or boys again?

I'm sorry you are sick and I understand. I don't throw up very much either and I don't think the actual act of vomiting can gauge how bad you feel. Sometimes throwing up makes me feel better, but when you can't it's just nonstop, neverending nausea. Here is the good news: it WILL end! Just do your best to hang in there in the meantime. I totally understand that it gets really old really fast. Here is the bad news: I have no idea what helps. I tried ginger caplets this time but it only make me taste ginger all day. It was gross. The only thing that helps is eating. I just have to force myself to eat. Just look through your pantry until you find something (it doesn't matter what) that you think you might possibly be able to gag down. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes is better than never though. Good luck, Rachel!!!

WhyByu-I? said...

What do you mean you don't throw up? I vividly remember knocking on the old ladies door? lol


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